Tower of Joy

Hi everyone.  My life has been changing in a lot of ways recently.  To be honest, I'm not really sure where to begin. I have been home schooled ever since third grade.  But this last December, I had several serious discussions with my parents about school.   Homeschooling just wasn't working for me anymore.  I really struggle with motivation and am a procrastinator.  As I started high school and finished a couple more years at home, I began to fall behind in schoolwork.   So my parents decided to let me visit a local Christian school in late December.  I had played on the basketball team there for three years, and had several friends who went there. After visiting, I decided to start taking an art class in the afternoons at the school.  I was still struggling to decide if I should attend there full time this coming year.   Then God changed my life in a way I could never have imagined. In winter 2018, my parents had a family meeting with me and my

darling one you are beautiful blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes filled with wonder laughter  joy brimming with tears each one telling a story  the story  of how you danced with abandon  the story  of how you fell and got back up the story  of how you never lost hope  you dared to believe in first kisses dared to believe  in true love true friends  you dared to believe  in second chances and happy endings and shooting stars and wishes coming true oh, darling how this world NEEDS you it needs your light your hope your wonder your smile your prayers  because you are UNIQUE no one has cried the tears you've cried no one has danced the steps you've danced  no one has dreamed your dreams the way you've dreamed them  you are a STAR  that brings direction to a scattered world so, darling keep flying keep spreading your wings and teach us to see the world as you do don

when i look at you i see  your silence your eagerness  your laughter i see the habits you resort to everytime you're nervous the way you pretend  you don't care even if you do i see  how you want  to make others smile but behind your easy laughter there's a deepness a deepness i've begun  to understand i see YOU flaws imperfections  mistakes but also  love and kindness and honesty i see  someone who loves and loves deeply but is afraid to show it  even if it's there i see someone who matters who has a purpose someone chosen  and called not forgotten but remembered Beautiful one, you are not forgotten.  I know you feel lost in the shadows and hidden from everyone's eyes, but you are not alone.  You are not unseen.  You are loved beyond all comprehension by your Creator.   You are in my prayers right now, dear reader.  Don't give up.  Your story is only beginning.

i am the windowpane girl hands pressed to wood nose pressed to glass frozen in time watching life slip past i am the long waiting girl eyes never closed heart never dying lungs filled with air  soul dancing and  flying I am the forgotten girl mind ever dreaming spirit ever flowing prayers whispered soft making hopes start  growing.